|Series 7, Episode 6|
|Air Date||23rd December 1974|
|Written by||Jimmy Perry and David Croft|
|Original Audience Figures||Unknown|
|Previous episode||The Captain's Car|
|Next episode||Ring Dem Bells|
|List of episodes|
Turkey Dinner is the sixth episode of the seventh series of Dad's Army, and was originally transmitted on Monday 23rd December 1974.
Mainwaring tells Wilson that before a battle, commanders tell their soldiers a joke. However, when Mainwaring attempts to cheer up his unusually quiet platoon with a joke, it does not work. Jones asks Mainwaring if he and his section can speak to him in private. Once in the office, Jones admits that he took his section for a quick drink in the Horse and Groom. Mainwaring is less than impressed, so is further annoyed when he hears that they also stopped in the King's Head to stop Cheeseman shivering, and in the Goat and Compasses.
Mainwaring is then amused to learn that Godfrey had begun to sing rather raucously, so he was taken into the Red Lion to sober up. The landlord had come up to Jones and had told him about something rustling in the haystack. Jones shot at the rustler, and was shocked to learn that it was a turkey, which is now plucked and stuffed in his refrigerator! Mainwaring is shocked, and insists that they pay Mr Boggis, farmer at the North Berrington Turkey Farm, the only place where the turkey could have come from, for the loss of his turkey.
However, Mr Boggis is not there. Mainwaring asks his slightly dim-witted farm worker where he is;
- Mainwaring: "Where is Mr Boggis?"
- Worker: It's Wednesday!"
- Mainwaring (slowly): "Where is your master?"
- Worker: It's Wednesday!"
- Mainwaring (to Wilson): The man's an idiot, Wilson
Eventually they discover Mr Boggis is at market day. They attempt to count the birds, and discover after much chaos that one bird is missing. However, the farm worker is unwilling to accept money for the bird. Therefore, Jones' section decides to hold a turkey dinner for the OAPs of Walmington-on-Sea. Mainwaring is delighted and decides to organise a Turkey Dinner General Purposes Committee, with himself as chairman. Mrs Fox will cook the turkey, Mrs Pike decides to make the stuffing, and Mrs Cheeseman will make the gravy.
Everything goes well, until Mainwaring emerges from the office in his dinner suit; he is guest speaker at a Rotary Club dinner. Pike whirls around with a plate in his hand, and accidentally spills gravy all over Mainwaring's suit. Jones uses blotting paper to get rid of the gravy, but ends up making a mess of Mainwaring's shirt, which he covers up with white enamel paint, which ends up on Mainwaring's dinner jacket.
A sling is the only answer to the problems, as it will not only hide the paint, but it will also make Mr Mainwaring appear more brave at the dinner. However, Hodges comes bursting through the door, bumping into Pike, and knocking gravy onto his sling once again.
- Although not a 'special', this story acted as the Christmas episode for 1974 (hence the turkey dinner theme).
- The episode was originally planned for transmission on 6th December 1974.
- This episode marks the final appearance of Private Cheeseman.